I. Wanting
one becomes two so easily
i take and take away
and what i give back is
a mirage
no
the back side of the mirror
what sings out there
inside a dark still labyrinth
of wild dark hair and foodstuffs
what tears its face with dark blue nails
loves me i know
loves me i know
i wanted so much to exist
one needs two
so i took you
now, only:
this place
these sounds
this color
this hair
i claim
II. Giving
take and take away
give and give away
needing to give
needing to be seen to give
i walk quietly amid dropping ginkgo leaves
a blessing from god
banten, the young man said: it is an offering
now i take handful after handful
i leave them in mailboxes and under paper weights
i leave gold
scatter my leaf-wealth about for her
because
excited, she is excited
as never before by those leaves
by the gift
so i give again, needing her eyes
now puzzled, tired
i pile the leaves over her desk
over her hair her eyes
into her shoes her mouth
smother her with the precious leaves
of our delight
and i understand suddenly
why a man might rape a woman
now, only:
let me respond with a gift
when asked
III. Standing
give and give away
where peace drops gently to the ground
feathers out over the waters
i stand blessed and breakable
i bite my upper lip
here i have been supported for many years
and only now is it clear to me
how one cannot give anything at all
one cannot give anything at all
because one has nothing
that is not someone else’s
i am crying sticky maple tears
in my standing
the pulse of the waters
fills my head
want only what i need
give only what is needed
share only what can be shared
what cannot be shared
exists
i strew it over the waters
as an offering
and look away
(2004)